(300 Word challenge – brief: inanimate object starts talking.)

The Montblanc Meisterstuck LeGrand Gold-Coated Ballpoint Pen sat wedged between the tacky red leather cushions of the coffee shop bench-seat.

It wasn’t happy about it.

Pens of this distinction are rarely happy about anything. Being forgotten by their careless owner was a sure way to deepen their mood to the wrong side of ‘foul’.

Walter wandered over to his usual table, coffee-loaded tray in hands, knapsack over his shoulder. He sat down and got his writing stuff from his bag.

He’d been stuck on the middle-bit of his earth-shattering, best-seller for a few days now and was determined today would be the day he made his breakthrough.

Walter took a deep swig of his strong black coffee. Today was the day. He could feel it. Or was that just the caffeine?

As he put his cup down a glint of gold caught his eye.

The pen.

He looked around trying to see who had left it here. No sign of anyone.

Wow! A free pen! And a beauty at that!

Walter surreptitiously reached for the pen.

The Montblanc let out a short derisory snort of a laugh, ‘don’t even think about it peasant! You are not worthy to look upon me, never mind touch me with your grubby little fingers!’

Walter was taken aback, ‘I beg your pardon!?’

‘You won’t get it, you pathetic hack! Now move along and dribble out your sad little words somewhere else, you addle-minded sorry excuse for a writer!’

Walter did a double-take, looking around to see who was saying this.

Realising it was the pen, he let out a deep sigh.

The pen continued, ‘so just jog on and I wouldn’t even bother with that cliché-sodden excuse for a book if I were you.’

Walter frowned, packing his writing bag, ‘everyone’s a freakin’ critic!’